Monday, September 5, 2011

Human Extinction

Listening to the song “Natural Disaster” by Joel Plaskett has me thinking deep thoughts today.

Unicorns are immortal, so we have seen a lot of emergencies and life-threatening situations over the millennia. Back before the days of cable and during the Dark Ages when we were banned from the theatre (which was not my fault so don’t let the ghosts of Messers Shakespeare and Marlowe tell you it was!), one of our favourite past-times was watching humans run around trying to handle emergencies. In the past, we started betting pools and pointed and laughed.

Example of a bracket from a betting pool (click to enlarge of course):

One unicorn in particular was quite invaluable in this game for his Microsoft Excel skills.  (Hint: Yours Truly!!!)

However, since then I have seen the error of my ways.  Why bet on humanity's death when we can use our knowledge, accumulated over millennia, to *help* humanity?

Imagine how much I will "clean up" (to use betting parlance) if I bet on the greatest long shot of them all...that humanity DOES NOT DIE????

And so I have decided to begin a new series of blog posts.  A Unicorn's Guide to the Survival of Humanity.  Each post will detail the various ways humans might survive a natural disaster, a pandemic, a war, and/or an outside invasion!!!

To humans reading this blog, please feel free to leave a comment: Is there a particular source of extinction that terrifies you?  Would you like more tips on which foods to pack during a tsunami, or how to best kill a robot?