Costco has plagiarized my ring!!

Last week, I showed my readers my own special design for an engagement ring to rival Kate's.  It included a beautiful 7 carat diamond in the shape of a heart.  The diamond was extremely large and extremely sparkly.

An eagle-eyed reader sent me a tip today...Costco has plagiarized my ring!!  The bulk warehouse chain Costco is offering a 6.77 carat diamond ring for only $1,000,000.00. 

You can see "their" ring here, and below:

And for comparison, my ring:

At first, I thought "ShimmerShine, perhaps you are leaping to conclusions.  It is graceful leaping, because you are a unicorn, but it is leaping nonetheless.  Your ring is heart-shaped, and theirs is not."

"I know, I know," I said to myself, "But my ring is gigantic, and so is theirs!!!"

Costco has this to say about their rings:

Costco makes purchasing the highest quality diamonds easy by offering only the industry's highest quality diamonds at the lowest possible price.  Our long-standing relationship with our suppliers guarantees we get the best selection at the best value.  Costco's experienced buying team works with our suppliers evaluating and hand-selecting each diamond for its quality and brilliance.  Our team of Graduate Gemologists then inspects every diamond to ensure it meets the strictest quality standards in the industry in cut, color, clarity, and craftsmanship.  You can be confident your purchase is as special to us as it is to you.

Clearly, they are only able to offer the lowest possible price because THEY STEAL THEIR DESIGNS!!!

This saddens my very heart and soul because Costco was formerly my favourite place to purchase toilet paper.  However, I hope that you will all join me in boycotting Costco over this incident, until they offer me a full apology, preferably accompanied by one of their delicious cakes with buttercream icing.

Royal Wedding Countdown: The Piano

O my, I have found the perfect piano for the Royal Wedding!!  As my gift to Kate and William, I am planning to perform the glass harmonica in a duet with Sir Elton John.  As soon as Sir Elton returns my phone calls, I have no doubt he will approve my piano choice.

Gee, I sure hope he has $750,000?

I have selected the Bösendorfer Swarovski Crystal Grand Piano.  Three of these pianos were designed in 2003 for Bösendorfer's 175th anniversary. Each piano's case is encrusted with 8,000 crystals and layers upon layers of gold! 

We can even add Sir Elton's song "Crystal" to our medly, and "Don't Make My Brown Eyes Blue" (by Crystal Gayle, hee hee hee). 

Of course the glasses in my glass harmonica must also be crystal to match the piano.  I shall get started calling Swarovski immediately, and also perhaps give Sir Elton another call.  I wonder if his cell battery has run out? 

Royal Wedding Countdown: The Ring

What would a wedding be without rings??  (Answer: Much less exciting!)

I am enthralled by Kate's beautiful sapphire ring.  Now that she has made them extremely fashionable, many women across the world are now requesting sapphire rings for their own engagements. 

However, I myself prefer a traditional diamond.  They are so so so sparkly!!!!!

In fact, I am so excited for the Royal Wedding that I have designed my own engagement ring at bluenile.com.  Here it is:

You may be thinking, "But Prince ShimmerShine, how will you wear a ring?  You do not have fingers."

O, my silly silly readers, of course I will not wear A ring.  I will wear 27 rings!!  They will be braided in my mane and tail on strands of silver and gold ribbon.  27 is a perfect cube, so it will symbolize my perfect love.  Sigh, how romantic!

Horses vs. Unicorns: Bodies

One of my anonymous commenters asked, "How do horse frames differ from unicorn frames?"

Such an excellent question!!!

To me and to my romantic dates, the answer is obvious...but I know that many readers unfortunately do not have a lot of experience with unicorns.  I have thus prepared the following diagrams comparing the differences between unicorn bodies and horse bodies!

Horses vs. Unicorns: Bodies

Royal Wedding Countdown: What is "Horsey"?

Many tabloid journalists have referred to various members of the Royal Family as "horsey" or "horse-faced."  A reader also recently asked me, "Some people say our future queen, Kate Middleton, has a horsey frame.  What does that even mean?"

It is important to note that "horsey" or "horse-faced" are actually insults!  They usually mean that someone has extremely large nostrils or smells like manure -- which of course does not apply to any of the members of the Royal Family, or future members of the family like Kate.  

I would actually describe Kate's beauty as "unicorn-y."

Some of my particularly uncultured readers may not know the difference between a horsey face and a unicorn-y face.  I have prepared some helpful diagrams to educate you and get you ready so that you will not commit a faux pas in describing the Royal Couple at your wedding parties.  Click to view full-size!

Horses vs. Unicorns

Royal Wedding Countdown: 48 Days, 10 Hours, 56 Minutes

Once upon a time in January 2011 (hee hee hee you thought this was going to be a long time ago, didn't you?  O my I love to play with storytelling conventions) an anonymous reader wrote:

Dear Prince ShimmerShine Moondreams,

You post an awful lot about what it's like being a unicorn, but not a lot about what it's like being a prince.

On that note, what do you think of the Canadian monarchy?. Some people say our future queen, Kate Middleton, has a horsey frame. What does that even mean? If you were to give Prince William any advice for the wedding night, when he will consummate the royal marriage and take the Princess' maidenhood, what would you tell him?  

These are all good questions, and I hope to answer them with full enthusiasm and insight, now that the Royal Wedding is less than two months away!!  As royalty myself I am of course attending and Prince William called me himself, since the vendetta Canada Post seems to hold means that I may never see the actual invitation. 

I am so excited!  I am planning a splendid outfit to maximize my own dashing royal figure's handsomeness, and I hope to perform a beautiful piece on the glass harmonica for the couple. 

I have written to Sir Elton John asking if he would like to accompany me on the piano and I am sure he will be very pleased.  We will likely do a medley of his songs as well as play one of my favourite romantic Canadian songs for Kate's walk down the aisle: Possession by Sarah McLachlan:

And I would be the one
To hold you down
Kiss you so hard
I’ll take your breath away
And after I’d wipe away the tears
Just close your eyes dear

So romantic!!!  I am almost shaking with anticipation as I type this and imagine William holding his love and wiping away her tears of joy on their wedding night.

In anticipation of this great event, you may notice that I have added a wedding ticker to the top of my blog site, counting down the days, hours and minutes to the Royal Wedding.  I hope to share all of this with you, my readers...enjoy!!!