Who is my True Blood boyfriend? (Answer below!!)

from unicornprince.com:
I am of course a huge fan of the television series True Blood. Who can resist those sexy vampires??

So when I had the opportunity to discover which character would be *my* True Blood boyfriend, I could not turn it down and so immediately took this quiz.

1.  What do you look for in a boyfriend?

Brains
Brawn
Personality

Well all three of course, but since they make me pick I chose brawn.  I have enough brains for both of us, and personality is slightly overrated, however brawn would allow me to use my boyfriend to win fights in UFC without having to risk scarring in my own beautiful fur!!

2.  How important is reputation?

Very important
Not that important

Very important! We bloggers gain our following by reputation and word of mouth.  For example, I have a reputation as being extremely insightful and handsome.

3.  How do you feel about mixing business and pleasure?

You're completely against it
You're not totally against it
Your work is your playground

O, definitely the more pleasure involved in business the better!!  This is why someday I would like to own Disneyland.

4.  What is more important?

Your love life
Your family

O, I hope my cousin Spike is not reading this.  If so: I love you too but they made me pick!!

5.  Are you the jealous type?

Yes
Sometimes
No

I admit it, this is one of my few failings.  When I see someone with a gorgeous girlfriend or a spectacular mohawk, I often think: "Why can that not be ME???"

6.  Are you a hopeless romantic?

Yes, you like grand romantic gestures
No, you hate cheesy romantic stuff

The grander the better!!!

7.  What's your ideal date?

Having drinks at a bar 

Having dinner at a fancy restaurant 

Having dessert at a coffee shop 

Just hanging out at home

Definitely the fancy restaurant so I can show off my new pink waistcoat and bow tie.

8.  How dangerous are you?

You can't hurt a fly 

You'll fight if provoked 

You're no stranger to violence

While I generally prefer to give peace a chance I also love to shoot a forceful gun and know how to spell krav maga, a fighting style that I intend to learn soon.

9.  What's your idea of fun?

Partying 

Shopping 

Going to the beach 

Just hanging out at home

All of these are fun!!!  Because it is summer I have to say beach.  The sun makes my fur tingle and my hooves go "cloppity-clop" with joy!!

10. You are most likely to be attacted to:

The Southern gentleman 

The dark mysterious stranger 

The boy next door 

The playboy

I adore mystery and in fact once dated Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

11.   How do you feel about vampires?

Love them 

Hate them 

You're in between 

 Love love love !!!!!!!!!!!!!

12. How often do you get in trouble?

All the time 

Once in a while 

Never

Not that often at all, as you can see from the counter at the bottom of my blog.

13. What kind of person are you?

You are sweet and attentive 

You are forgiving and understanding 

You are the promiscuous type 

You are the obsessive type

O yes I am extremely sweet.  I like to give back rubs and buy presents.  I also like to receive both of these of course!!

14. What's your status?

Single 

Divorced 

In a relationship

Definitely single so if you are too, and you are attractive, please email me!!!

15. What are you good at?

Sports 

Dating 

Business 

Fashion

I am good at all four of these things so it was incredibly hard to pick.  I chose "Dating" because it is my favourite of the four.

THE RESULTS....

Facebook's unethical policies

from unicornprince.com:
Facebook has been getting rather a lot of criticism these days for its privacy policies!  The latest issue is surrounding the automatic lack of privacy settings for the new feature "Places" which allows users and their friends to post their location.  The worry is that robbers will know when to break into houses, and stalkers will be able to follow people!!

Personally, I think "Places" is an excellent feature and that attractive people in the city of London, Canada should definitely opt in!

However, that is not what I am planning to discuss today.  Instead, I want to make a stand against Facebook's discriminatory policies of profile colours.

Facebook's defining design is the blue and white colourset.  This is very lovely, however, I would like to make my profile page rainbow colours!!!  And shockingly, I am not allowed to do this.

I am pretty horrified that Facebook is discriminating against unicorns who love rainbows.  Would they do this with other groups?  For example, would a Christian not be allowed to change his Facebook colours to green and red to celebrate Jesus and Santa?  Would a virgin not be allowed to change her Facebook colour to white to show off her sexual status?

Facebook, what do you have against unicorns, Christians, and virgins???

Wonderful Wednesday to you all, especially my American friends!!

from unicornprince.com:
The other day one of my American friends said to me, "On Wednesday I am making gourmet mac and cheese."  I told her that I thought this was a splendid plan, but later I realized: O my, it is probably for a special occasion!

I racked my brain and thought and thought, but I couldn't come up with the holiday.  Was it her birthday?  No!  Was it Christmas?  Although I love a green Christmas from time to time, that is not for a few months yet.  Was it Thanksgiving?  Of course I am thankful each and every day, but I am pretty sure American Thanksgiving is in October, like ours.  Why wouldn't it be??

Then I realized: perhaps American celebrate the day simply for the joy of it being Wednesday??  And so I wish you all a happy America Celebrates Wednesday day!!!

Happy America Celebrates Wednesday!!!

I got to thinking, what do Americans do on America Celebrates Wednesday?  I bet they also celebrate the letter W by dressing up in W-related clothes.  O my I could make a whole theme party out of this.  So I will!!!  And you are invited, see below!!!

You are invited to... America Celebrates Wednesday The first in ShimmerShine Moondreams'  "Celebrate Other North American Cultures" series of parties for social tolerance
Date:	Wednesdays!!!
Location:	The Woods
Attire:	Red white and blue, preferably Western boots, Western pants, and Western shirts.   Also carry a whip!!
Food:	Wiener schnitzel, mac and cheese, wheat, watermelon, wafers, whipped cream, walnuts, worchester sauce, whey, and wasabi
Entertainment:	We will play the Wutlitzer organ and sing songs like a clever riff on Manic Monday called "Wanic Wednesday" and also a smart turnabout of I Don't Like Mondays called "I Sure Like Wednesdays."

Hope to see you there!!!

Advice for finding True Love

from unicornprince.com:

The best thing about The Bachelorette is the way it makes us all think about our own romantic lives and possible self-improvement. A few weeks ago, Michelle L. left a comment on this blog:

Why I haven't I found True Love, the way Ali will next Monday, 9:58 pm eastern standard time?

Thank-you in advance. MichelletheBlogger

I have spent some time pondering her question. I have come up with several reasons why she or anyone else may not have found True Love.

Picture of Cupid to symbolize love
you may find using my advice

Why have you not found True Love?

1. It is possible that you are not attractive enough. Beauty has been treasured by potential lovers for thousands of years, from the time of Homo erectus onward (hee hee hee o my that name sounds dirty!).

To improve your chances, I highly recommend that you add more fibre to your diet and also braid your hair with colourful ribbons and perhaps add some sparkles to it. A dark pair of sunglasses and a tuxedo will also make you appear dashing and attract potential mates.

2.  You may not be romantic enough.  No matter how feminist or misogynist your dates might be, I can guarantee that they always love roses, poetry, and pet names!

Red roses are the most beautiful, but if your potential lover does not have a "green thumb" you can get him or her pewter roses.  One gross (that is 12 dozen or 144 single roses) is always a good amount that balances right between "I maybe like you" (cupcake delivery) and "stalker" (horse's head in left on your lover's pillow).

For poetry, the more complex the better!  I highly recommend the sonata or the sestina.  You can even work pet names into your poetry, such as "schnookums", "dearest", "tiddlywinks" or "lady/lord Gaga".

3.  You may be not meeting enough single people.  If you are only hanging out with married people or children who the law says are too young, you should find somewhere else to hang out!  Particularly if you are averse to adultery and/or paedophilia (if you are not averse to these you can ignore this tip). 

Stop hanging out in fertility clinics, marriage counselling group therapy, schoolyards, and day care centres.  Definitely start hanging out in places where hip singles might be found, such as Mountain Equipment Co-op if you are into cute outdoorsy boys, the grocery store produce aisle if you are into healthy women who like to cook, or your backyard if you are into people who trespass and/or live with you. 

(This last one may sound like a silly tip, but trespassers can have that "rebel" mysterious quality, and people who already live with you make it really easy to have sexual congress without having to leave the house and walk down the street!)

I hope these tips help and that you find True Love soon, Michelle!  Remember to keep me and my delightful readers updated on your search.  Readers, if you have any other tips please leave them in the comments!!

UFC legal in Ontario!!!

from unicornprince.com:

Dalton McGuinty is my new favourite Provincial Premier!!! He has decided to allow Mixed Martial Arts in Ontario!!!  (You could call him the Premier who is premier in my heart, hee hee hee.)

For those of you unfamilliar with MMA, this means the ULTIMATE FIGHTING CHAMPIONSHIP. For which I will start training immediately!!!

Did you know that you can make up to $500,000 per fight, according to Wikipedia? Also, the manager and coach makes 15-20% of the fight which means if I am my own coach and manager, I can make even more!! This is an excellent way for me to stockpile more gold in my backyard so that I can survive the next stock market crash.

Note for robbers: I no longer live in London, Ontario, Canada.

Note for friends only (no robbers!!): Hee hee hee that was just to fool potential gold robbers!! You do not have to change your address books, I promise. (Unless your address books say something mean like "ShimmerShine Moondreams - London, Ontario, Canada - He is not my friend and I do not like him." In that case, please change your address books to something more jovial. Thanks!!!)

Breaking News: Cape Cod Chris is not the next Bachelor!!!

from unicornprince.com:
Exclusive news from my fellow blogger Michelle L.! It turns out Cape Cod Chris has turned down the opportunity to become the next Bachelor on TV's The Bachelor.

On the one hand, I am disappointed because he is very handsome and loves rainbows--two things that he and I both have in common. However, I am also excited because this means that perhaps Frank or Justin will be the one picked!!!  I love the "bad boys" of The Bachelorette!

Of course I cannot stop speculating about his reasons for refusing this wonderful gig.  Sometimes I find that brainstorming can help ease my mental ponderings so I have prepared a chart of my top 4 ideas (can you guess which one is my favourite???:

Return of the Tent Caterpillars!!

from unicornprince.com:
O dear o dear, my mortal enemies the tent caterpillars have returned!! 

I am currently ordering a new gun and also working with an online company to make me a unicorn-sized version of this suit, preferably in purple *or* perhaps rainbow colours. 

Wish me luck!

Eavesdropping on the train

from unicornprince.com:
I am on my way to Guelph to meet up with a friend, and then we are going to Boston!!  I have never been to Boston so to fit in I am wearing my delightful bright red socks and practicing my accent.  For example I might say "My awnt and uncle bought me some clam chowdah and lobstah!"

While on the train I decided to eavesdrop on a delightful older lady who is travelling alone.  I wish I were sitting closer to her because I am also travelling alone and would love to strike up a conversation!!  But instead I will type out her conversations with the other passengers for you:

Woman: I was too tired to go pee at the station you know, just too tired. So I thought I'd wait to do it on the train even though it's only an hour ride, that's still a long time. Is Stratford an hour?

Man sitting near her: Uh I don't know.

Woman: Well now I have to find a bathroom on this place. (Waits for a response.) DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE BATHROOM IS ON THIS PLACE?

Man: Oh sorry were you asking me? Yes I think it's back there.

Woman: OK then thanks. I was just too tired to go in the station so I have to pee now.

Man: No problem.

[After the woman goes to the bathroom]

Train employee (with a food/drink cart): Would you like some tea or coffee m'am?

Woman: Coffeee but do you have any FRESH milk?

Employee: No we don't sorry.

Woman: WELL THEN. Do you have any artificial sweetener.

Employee: Yes, we have splenda.

Woman: Great I'll take five of those then. How much do I owe you?

Employee: Uh, $2 please

Woman: Holy shit! DO YOU HAVE A COFFEE STIRRER OR PLASTIC SPOON OR EVEN A STRAW!!!!

Employee: Yes we do, here's a stirrer.

Woman: COULD I HAVE ANOTHER ONE FOR LATER TO SHAKE IT UP A BIT.

Employee: Yes m'am.

Woman: Oh God bless you!

[Later]

Woman:  This coffee is good, it's so much better than Amtrack.  It says Starbucks but Starbucks in the States is atrocious!  It's atrocious.  I guess if you like it strong but I sure don't like it strong.  So that's why I don't like to travel Amtrack.  Is this Stratford?

Man sitting nearby: I think it's St. Mary's m'am.

Woman: Well I need to get off at Stratford.

Adventures with The Comos and some swimsuit models!

from unicornprince.com:
O my what a fantastic night I had yesterday.  First, I went to see friends from The Comos play at a Habitat for Humanity fundraiser.  And then on my walk home I saw a male swimsuit competition!!!

I will start this blog post chronologically, with the concert.  I love fundraisers!  Nothing makes me feel better than helping a fellow creature in need.  I offered my services to Habitat with Humanity, telling them that my horn makes an excellent drill, but they assured me that all I had to do tonight was sit and enjoy the music.  How lovely!


My friends Fuzzy and Huggy Como put on an excellent set as the band "Wrongfully Accused."  I love this band name because I have also been wrongfully accused of crimes in the past, such as stalking Art Garfunkel and attempted shooting of my mailman. 

They played some excellent rockability and also Huggy let me play a guest spot on his upright bass!!!  Here is a photo:

After the concert, I had another entrancing encounter!

Normally as I walk home I head up Talbot Street, but my sixth sense whispered to me: ShimmerShine, don't you want ice cream?  So I detoured to Richmond Street and stopped by Marble Slab to eat a birthday cake ice cream cone with sprinkles.  Yum yum yum!  Delirious with happiness at my ice cream treat selection, I carried on up Richmond to hear some hooting and hollering!

I thought to myself, "What could this be?  It sounds like an event of fantastical proportions!"  I soon discovered that outside the Ceeps (one of my favourite dance clubs in London, Canada) there was a stage erected and large crowds of women.  I of course trotted closer. 

As I got closer the sight became even more majestic.  For on that stage were eight men in swim trunks!!!  IT WAS A MALE SWIMSUIT COMPETITION!! 

This is why I am an eternal optimist.  Some people say "ShimmerShine, how do you stay so happy?  Doesn't the world beat you down?  For example, when the police confiscated your gun, when someone stole your plant, and when the London Transit Corporation doesn't allow you on their buses."  Yes, I tell them, it does seem hard to live the life of a unicorn in the modern era, but then...O then if you are patient life throws you something amazing, like shirtless guys in swim trunks!!

Unfortunately, one of the bad things about being a unicorn (I know, you are thinking: "There is something bad about being a unicorn???" Of course I am exaggerating for effect here, since being a unicorn is truly wondrous.) is that when we are prancing around in our fur, there are no pockets on us. So I did not have my ID to get into the bar!! Alas my lack of foreplanning cost me a date, I am sure. Note to Future ShimmerShine: Always carry your man bag!!

However I was able to spy from the sidewalk and listen to the competition.  The swimsuit men were asked all sorts of insightful questions.  My favourite was the lad who, when asked "What is the strangest pickup line you've ever used?" said "I don't use pickup lines.  I guess you could say I'm a hopeless romantic."  I "Aww"ed with all of the ladies in the crowd.  What a beautiful and attractive sentiment!

Unicorn Meat: A Fraud!!

from unicornprince.com:

My fans are often very glad to read this blog because I can give them tips from a truly savvy, streewise unicorn. If you are a new reader, you are in luck because I have one of those tips today!

The Unicorn Meat offered for sale from ThinkGeek is a FRAUD!!! It is clearly not real unicorn meat. As you can see from this photo, the sparkles throughout the meat are not evenly distributed. Unicorns are magical beings of perfect beauty and symmetry.

So, while this fake meat might be delicious, it is not real unicorn.  Also: please do not eat unicorns.  We are your friends!  And if you do not know any of us personally, may I remind you of this song:

Make new friends
And keep the old
One is silver
And the other's gold

Matthew Mitcham: A soul mate at last

from unicornprince.com:
I have long believed in soul mates, of course, but even if I didn't, I now have proof.  Because today I became aware of the existence of  Australian Olympic diver Matthew Mitcham, who is quite possibly my very own soul mate.  Not only is he an incredible athlete (like me), he has also danced with Lady Gaga's tour!!!

Photographic evidence of his talent, beauty, and appreciation of unicorns below!!!

In fact, he reminds me a little of that mysterious specimen of beauty previously shared in this blog...

Can you imagine how amazing it will be when Mister Mitcham (dare I be so forward as to call him Matthew?) and I hook up?  O wowee, I could write songs for him and choreograph his dives. 

In fact, I know a way to make him unbeatable!!  I cannot share the details but I will give you a two-word hint:  Water Trampoline. 

Many enthusiastic thank-yous to new friend Bernie F. who made me aware of this hunkalicious athlete and dancer!  However, I should also temper my thank-yous with a quick warning.  Matthew Mitcham is my soul mate.  Should you or anyone else reading this blog get inappropriate ideas of professing your own love for Matthew, you will be facing down a very angry unicorn as a result. 

In fact, I will make this even more clear by enclosing an artistic rendering of my anger:

To clean or not to clean??

from unicornprince.com:
Today I have to clean the house!  I do enjoy cleaning.  The intoxicating smell of Draino, the handsome visage of Mr. Clean winking at me from the bottle, the innocent wagering on how high the dust pile will be, and the sense of satisfaction from rolling in a load of freshly laundered bedsheets...what is there not to enjoy?

So I woke up this morning ready and raring to go!

But then I thought: by cleaning my house myself, am I depriving a poor single mother with two children who need lung transplants the opportunity to work as my maid and earn a living?


This is a moral dilemma that I am not sure how to solve, so unfortunately no cleaning will get done today, merely contemplation.

Ali finds true love; Yours Truly fights bears

from unicornprince.com:
For all my Bachelorette-loving readers, was the finale not simply magical this week?? Ali found True Love with her gorgeous Spanish lover, Roberto.  In the meantime, Chris from Cape Cod saw rainbows!!!  Which is more romantic, a marriage proposal or rainbows??  It is so hard to know. 

I was truly devastated that I could not watch it in "real time" with all of you, but I had a gig booked in Algonquin during the long weekend.  So alas, on Monday night I did not see Ali swiftly but gently break Chris's heart, and I did not see Ali and Roberto appear on television together for the first time as a couple!!  I did however watch it afterward on my VCR machine and was able to rewind over and over and over the magical proposal scene, and also the seadooing scene because that one looked like a lot of fun.    

Why did I miss the show?  Because while all of this was going on, I was rescuing a baby from a black bear!!!   (I know, you are thinking: "O ShimmerShine, how heroic, why did you not lead with this amazing story??"  But I of course realize that true love is even greater than my own impressive life-saving abilities, so I had to write about Ali's story first!)

One of my favourite things about camping is going with families.  I simply adore it when families bring their babies along on camping trips!!  It is the perfect age for camping because even though the baby will not be able to participate in singing, campfire-building, moose-watching, or canoeing, I am certain than he is able to absorb the campfire smell and learn to appreciate the Great Outdoors. 

Also, when you bring a baby camping, everyone nearby is charmed by the adorable baby noises!  They are so cute: giggles, crying, screaming, and also yelling.  It makes my heart warm to the brim with joy and keeps me toasty hot in the cold Algonquin nights.

So of course I like to volunteer my time during the busy August long weekend to keep babies safe.  In Algonquin in particular, I know that bears can be very dangerous because they love babies as much as we do, except they love them for snacks!!  So I rented myself a kayak and squatted down very low inside and floated about for several hours while humming to myself, "Blue lake and rocky shore, I will return once more, Boom de de boom boom, Boom de de boom boom, Boom de de boom boom, Boom boom."

Suddenly a bear approached!!!  With my singing I let him think I was off guard but I was not!!  A grand tussell ensued:

When I was finished, the baby was safe!!! 

I then had a difficult choice to make: you see, the father of the baby was extremely attractive, and I knew that he would be very grateful since I just saved his baby.  But I decided instead to save two things that night: the baby, and the marriage of his parents!!  And so I did not proposition the father at all...instead I kayaked swiftly off into the darkness, never to be seen again!!!