End of March checkpoint

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
Since we are nearing the taxation season for many Canadians I thought I should do some accounting of my own--specifically, regarding this blog!! Also I was bored on the train which is the perfect time to prepare statistics.

Last year, I did not post as many entries in my blog as I did in 2008. How disappointing! But I have made a pact with myself to post even MORE this year than I did the first year!!!

In order to be sure of this, it is helpful to make some charts. Here is my MARCH CHECKPOINT chart. I believe in full transparency to my readers (plus, making this post gets me even closer to my goal of more posts, hee hee hee).

You can see from this chart that while my overall posts went down from 2008 to 2009, my posts by March 31st have gone UP! And this year even more! So if I can STAY ON TARGET STAY ON TARGET (do you know which film I am quoting) then I will be all set for 2010.

Uni-Corn Holders

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
Have you ever seen the wonderful film Lady and the Tramp? My favourite scene is in the Italian restaurant where the Tramp and Lady share a scintillating meal of spaghetti. They slurp on the pasta in an incredibly romantic manner.

There is a unicorn equivalent to this, though of course we invented it long before the film was made. And instead of spaghetti, unicorn lovers use corn! We each skewer a cob of corn and chew it off each other's horn. The CLINK CLINK CLINK of teeth hitting horn makes us all a-flutter with desire.

You can see this depicted in these beautiful plastic tributes to unicorn love, Uni-Corn Holders. Humans purchase these and then pretend they are as romantic as unicorns!! I think it's very flattering and very sweet. Many thanks to friend M.Q. sharing this information with me!

Liveblogging from the train!!!

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
I am on the train from Toronto to London and my seatmate does not wish to play the fun game "Punch Buggy."

He says that because the train is going through the woods and nowhere near the highway it is too difficult to play. *I* say that makes it twice the fun!! Because it will be even more exciting when you spot a Volkswagen in the forest.

Now he is putting headphones on and he refuses to make eye contact. How un-neighbourly!

I am happy to be going home but sad to leave Toronto. Today I came up with a fabulous new city game I like to call "Walk like a pigeon."

Photographing Spring

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
The weather in London, Canada was most lovely this past weekend. It was in fact above zero degrees Celcius!

Of course this means many of us have been wearing our Spring clothes. For me, it was a lavender ballet tutu covered in rhinestones (I added them myself using my Bedazzler).

For others, it is shorts and tees. I noticed one handsome young man downtown wearing shorts that displayed the tattoos on his knees. I stopped and asked him if I could take a photo. Of course, he said yes! The only thing as exciting as getting your photo taken WITH a unicorn is getting your photo taken BY a unicorn.

Here is the photo:

I asked him, "While I appreciate your decision to self-censor by spelling the profanity incorrectly, I do wonder why you chose that colour palatte? Why not a rich magenta or cotton candy pink or something more pleasing?"

He told me that it was red in honour of the colour of his favourite Mighty Morphin' Power Ranger. What a lovely tribute!

Vote! Which comic strip character would you date?

As a followup to my previous post, which comic strip character would YOU date??

Dating comic strip heroes!

from unicornprince.blogsfrom upot.com:
Today I was thinking, who would I date from the comics, if comic strips were real life?

I can be quite humourous sometimes so I think it's nice to date someone who can really "get" my jokes, and perhaps even play off them! We could be the Rogers and Astaire or the Abbott and Costello of comedy!

Cathy from Cathy. She is always worried about her figure, so I know that she values attractiveness and thus will be impressed with my exercise plan! (More to come on that in the future.) Also, I have mastered her mating call: Ack! Ack! Ack!

T-Rex from Dinosaur Comics. He is male perfection and I know that if we decided to try a little rough courting (Klingon style!), my horn vs. his teeth would make for an excellent fight!

The evil man with the black hat in XKCD. I do love a bad boy and I am certain I could reform him! Sometimes love truly is all you need.

Mike's friend Weed from FBOFW. We have a lot in common, because he is a photographer and I am photogenic. Also, I have been known to try "weed" from time to time, hee hee hee, o, did you get my reference to narcotics culture there??

A charming politician Hee hee I found a loophole there since my favourite politicians appear in political cartoons!! I am thinking Sarah Palin or Jack Layton in particular.

A superhero Such as Captain America or the super man himself, Superman! He is incredibly romantic as you can see in this shrine he built for Lois Lane (oh I wish a man/woman would build one for me!):

Can I outsurf an alpaca?? (If you have to think about the answer you have not been reading my blog for very long!)

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
Of course I can!

The surfing alpaca in Peru has caught the world's attention, but I can tell from the photograph that I am a much, much better surfer than him! For example, he is not "hanging four" (hooves) the way I can.

I know I can beat him and impress the world's the BEST surfing alpaca, which is way more important than the world's FIRST.

Now I must prepare my alpaca disguise...I will use a snazzy top hat to hide my horn!!

Feelin' Groovy!

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
I am so excited, I have a 5th row ticket to see the lovely Messrs Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel in May!

Why only 5th row? It seems they have a rule that no unicorns are allowed to sit right in front. This rule was put into place after a 1968 concert in which Mister Simon was tripped by a unicorn horn as he crossed the front of the stage. He fell and broke his collarbone.

To avoid this problem with overly enthusiastic unicorns in the future, there is a ban on horned creatures sitting any closer than the 5th row.

While I do understand their safety concerns, personally I think this is a bit unfair, as shortly after the event I did write Mister Simon a lovely apology letter in purple calligraphy and sent a dozen roses to his hospital room.

O well, I am sure I will enjoy the concert! And I know they will enjoy my melodious harmonizing on The 59th Street Bridge Song.

My tail

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
Today I was lying down on a purple silk pillow in the middle of the beautiful hardwood floor in my dining room. Suddenly I was struck by this thought: dogs chase their tails and seem to have so much fun with it.

Why have I never chased my tail? Is it because I am an intelligent being and thus know that my tail is attached to my derriere (while a dog is perplexed about where the tail comes from), or is it because of low self-esteem?

I have never thought of myself as being a unicorn with low self-esteem, but perhaps this is true. Do I refuse to chase my tail because I do not see my tail as beautiful, and thus an object worth pursuing?

If this is the case it is very sad.

I therefore resolve to chase my tail more frequently. Also I will braid into my tail a sparkly ribbon to maximize its attractiveness.

My new stalker!!!!!

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
I am pretty sure someone is stalking me.

Obviously, as a beautiful and most charming unicorn I should have seen this coming--of course I would have a stalker!! But alas even I can sometimes be short-sighted and did not think to develop an anti-stalker plan.

I will have to replace my old gun as quickly as possible.

In the meantime I cannot even sit on my backyard love seat swing drinking virgin mimosas anymore, because my stalker has taken up residence in the gazebo behind my house!! Fortunately, s/he made the most obvious novice stalker mistake in turning his/her flashlight on extremely brightly.

You can see my stalker in the gazebo below. Please excuse my lack of artistry in this photograph. As I'm sure you can imagine, I was quite alarmed and my hooves kept shaking while I took the photo!!

Mirrors

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
Mirrors are one of my favourite things in life. Do you know what is wonderful about them?

According to paranormal theorists they can truly show your soul in their reflection.

And according to mirrors my soul is EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE.

A look at strategic advertising

from unicornprince.blogspot.com:
I do not regularly imbibe alcohol or illicit mind-altering substances, though I have been known to try the ganja on occasion.

However while watching the Olympics in February I admit to thoroughly enjoying the frequently-aired Molson Canadian beer commercial! During the advertisement they play the thrilling piece "Lux Aeterna" from the film Requiem for a Dream.

What a most brilliant strategy I must say, selecting music from a harrowing film all about the evils of addiction! Everyone watching the commercial can be reminded of how addiction leads to terrible arm infections and public prostitution.

This shows the audience that beer is an excellent alternative to other drugs! If you decide you wish to become addicted to something, as a viewer you might as well pick Molson Canadian.

I do agree!!