Leadership

This week I am taking a four-day Management Workshop in Toronto! Usually, people take these courses to help them in their place of employment, but I think it is important to better myself in general and become an excellent leader in my private life.

Also, the presenters are American so it was a perfect way to practice my American accent.

Today we had so many fruitful discussions, but my favourite part has to be when a young lady put up her hand and said:

I understand that we're here to learn about good leadership, but all too often I think managers are not trained in good followership.

Yes yes yes, what an excellent point! I am very impressed by the astuteness of my colleague.

I decided that I would raise the point that following and leading are really just different sides of the same Mobius strip (or is that the same side??) and I made a beautiful 3D model to illustrate this (see pictured above). However, the tape I used to hold it together got stuck in my mane, so I was unable to show the group.

Trip to Tronno and a new dating decision

This week I am in the beautiful city of Toronto. Please note how it is spelled: people "in the know" actually pronounce it "Tronno"! So be sure to do that so that no one will know you are a tourist.

My friends and I spent the day on the islands! We took the ferry to Centre Island and walked to Ward's Island and took the other ferry back.

I must say, I am a little in love with the young men on the islands. They sit around and they ride their bikes and barbeque things! They also have backpacks, which I feel would be handy if you were a human (I personally wear saddlebags--I can store my Mountain Dew in there and my currycomb to keep my coat beautiful).

I have decided that I would like to date an outdoorsy boy.

One of the things that can be a bit frustrating about having a deliciously comfy waterbed (I promise this relates to dating outdoorsy boys) is that when you are in a sexual relationship, you have to share the bed. I like to have particularly vivid dreams and thrash around a great deal, which can cause problems.

However, if I dated an outdoorsy boy, he could sleep outdoors!! I would make him a special place on my lawn, perhaps with a bed of twigs. Then I would sleep indoors on my waterbed by myself. What a fantastic compromise!

Dear handsome boys reading this: I really do have a waterbed

I have discovered why I am not having sexual encounters these days. It is due to low self-esteem!!

The other day I was out at the local ice skating rink. I was feeling a little under the weather due to the swine flu, so my quadruple axles were a little less bouncy than usual. I figured I could make up for this with an excellent tail-style, so I went to the men's room to look at my tail.

It was gorgeous, of course.

While in the men's room a quite attractive young drunk human male hit on me! He had beautiful golden curls and a slightly off-kilter bad-boy smile that reminded me of both Indiana Jones and Han Solo, but crossed with an angel!

He said "Hey beautiful, did we have sex last year?" and I said "no" and he said "we should change that this year! Do you have a waterbed?" and I did!! But I was suddenly struck by the urge to lie and say I didn't.

I do wish my life were more sexciting (this is a word meaning sexy and exciting) but at the same time I was thinking "What if he is just saying that because of the alcohol in his system? What if I take him home and in the morning he wakes up and no longer finds me beautiful? I would be so humiliated."

So I turned him down!!!

Where did this sudden flash of low self-esteem come from?? Is it because I am jaundiced due to the swine flu, and several of my eyelashes have fallen out?

I know this is silly. I must be incredibly attractive, because I have no ugly friends. Surely if I were ugly, so many beautiful people would not want to be my friend?

Even my friend the pixie Daffodil Trellis is not that pretty, but she is the definition of cute.

(I personally would say I am the definition of "sexually alluring".)

I will have to work on my self-esteem issues. Perhaps I will watch one of those encouraging films where the ugly duckling turns out to be beautiful all along, such as when Audrey Hepburn in My Fair Lady learns to speak properly, when Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries gets a makeover, or when Anthony Perkins in Psycho dresses up in his mother's cute outfit.

I liked it too!!

I still have the swine flu but it is so beautiful today that I have decided to take my bed into the backyard!!

I have also taken outside my glass harmonica and have been playing it since 9:30am this morning. My neighbours are gardening and I sure hope that they enjoy Katy Perry's "I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It" because I have been practicing it for six hours now and it sounds most darling on the glass harmonica.

Sometimes I can be so silly--of course they like it!! I feel kind of bad now for doubting the musically aesthetic tastes of my kind neighbours.

In fact they are so kind that a few minutes ago they threw some potatoes over the fence to share with me. A couple hit me in the head by accident but I cannot fault their aim when they are sending me presents. I will use them to make home fries for breakfast tomorrow. Or perhaps for dinner, which I like to call "the day's 4th breakfast"!! (The other breakfasts are #1, breakfast, #2, brunch, and #3, lunch) (and some days there are also snacktime and teatime of course).

I am thinking about learning some other songs for my glass harmonica too. What do you think I should share with my neighbours next? Here are some ideas:

Swine flu = We sinful

THESE TWO PHRASES HAVE THE SAME LETTERS

ARE WE DOOMED?!?!

I AM UNSURE AND A LITTLE FRIGHTENED

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Are we doomed? Vote in the poll!!

Yet another accomplishment where I am FIRST in the WORLD!!!!

So I woke up this morning feeling a bit dizzy. Also I could not get that song "Love is a Battlefield" out of my head. So I went to the doctor.

It turns out that I am the first unicorn worldwide to be diagnosed with swine flu!!!

This means that not only am I famous (keep your eyes on The Daily Show because probably they will want Yours Truly--that is, me, the unicorn with the swine flu--as a guest soon) but also I have to stay in bed for a few days.

I should probably order a new bed. When you have swine flu, you need to be careful that you are as comfy as possible.

Bride Wars

I missed the film Bride Wars in the cinema so I decided to rent it!! However, I have discovered that I am still banned from most video rental stores in the province of Ontario.

There are a couple of reasons for this. One is that I was a strong supporter of Beta over VHS and set a few bonfires surrounding this issue. It turns out that video store blacklists do not have an expiry date! Or to use the technical law term, a "statute of limitations". Some day I will go to Law School and then file a suitcase against them but that is a goal for another time.

I am still working on finding a copy of Bride Wars, but in the meantime I have written this Haiku poem:

O, Anne Hathaway
I tried to find you but am
banned from Blockbuster

Boytars

I am excited and amazed by Boytar.net! (Warning: this may not be a good site to visit if you are in a workplace right now that does not support free and open sexuality. You can also read about it on Jezebel, a site I frequent to learn more about my new feminist philosophy.)

I wonder where these boytars hang out because I would very much like to meet them. I bet the ones with four arms would be excellent at braiding my tail.