I love nature and all of its creatures, but I have to admit that sometimes I do not love it when they are in my house.
Today scuttling across my kitchen floor was the biggest millipede I have ever seen IN MY LIFE. I paused in my cooking to scream "Eeek eeek millipede!!!! MILLIPEDE ALERT!!!" and then closed my eyes figuring if I pretend it was not there, it would scuttle off into the darkness and we could both be at peace. Unfortunately, when I opened my eyes, it was still there, in the middle of my kitchen floor.
It did not move. My kitchen is small, so I continuously had to step around it. Ew ew eww ew!!! I thought to myself "What if that beautiful wondrous creature, who I love because I love all of nature, with so many legs and that big squishy body stays there all day and at night when I am dancing around in the dark, as I am wont to do, I step on it??"
Ew. I'm sure you can imagine that would not be a good option for either myself or the millipede!
So I decided to toss a bowl on top of the millipede and then slip a piece of paper underneath and run run run him outside and let him go free in the garden. A most excellent plan! Until it FAILED. I dropped the bowl right ON the millipede and half of him went SQUISH.
Now of course I felt horrible! He was still alive and squirming around and the only thing I could think of was to pick him up in a huge wad of paper towel and toss him in the toilet and flush it. (I have a toilet because I live in a house designed for humans.) I did this, but when I flushed the toilet, I did not see him.
Where did he go?? Did he get flushed and I just didn't notice? Or did he somehow jump out of my grasp and do I now have a very angry millipede in my apartment, scuttling around in the dark corners, waiting for nightfall to fulfill his revenge fantasies on me?
I can only hope that the millipede is as interested in the phenomenon of the INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY as I am and that in scouring the Internet for news, he comes across my blog and realizes how sorry I am.
DEAR MILLIPEDES SURFING THE SUPERHIGHWAY: I AM A FRIEND OF NATURE AND VERY SORRY FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE. PLEASE DO NOT CRAWL INTO MY BODY CAVITIES WHILE I AM SLEEPING. THANK YOU.